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Isabella Sawn
11 March 2008 @ 02:06 pm
079. TEN things you know about someone else.

There are a lot of things I don't know about Edward Cullen and somethings that I do.

1. He is the most beautiful person I've ever known and not just on the outside.
[locked from everyone but twilight people]
2. He's a vampire.
3. He is stuck at 17 forever and the longer he makes me wait the more I age and the further I get from him.
4. He has an incredible family.
5. He likes fast cars.
6. He does not like Jacob Black.
7. He likes to try to do things he thinks are in your best interest even when you want to smack him over the head with a heavy object.
8. He wants me to go to college.
9. He wants to marry me; he loves me.
10. He's my prince. In the non-traditional sense of the word.

Muse | Bella Swann
Fandom | Twilight
Isabella Sawn
25 January 2008 @ 07:10 pm
If you make a New Year's resolution, do you honestly believe you'll keep it?

I don't believe in New Year's resolutions. Most people make them for being nicer or loosing weight and then they feel horrible about themselves when they can't keep it so why have expectations that you know you won't be able to keep. It's not like your making a promise, promises I believe in but there's not really one person there to hold you to your resolution. Promises like say one your boyfriend makes you and has to put conditions on because he's an old fashion type; those you keep. If you say your going to do something, swear it, you better hold up your end of the deal. Even if it can be frustrating to be around someone who holds so strongly to turn of the century principles.

I don't usually make New Years resolutions because I know I can't keep them. I keep promises but I've found that sometimes people won't or can't keep their promises.

Thinking about this makes me miss Jake. I just wish he could understand and meet me halfway. I know if he were in my position he would feel the same way that I do, I just know it down to my bones. He can't get over his prejuiduces not that Edward is too good at that either but at least he makes an attempt to be cordial for my sake.

If I had chosen Jake, Edward would have been devistated but he would have wanted me to be happy. Why can't Jake just want me to be happy and realize that Edward is the only thing that can make me truly happy?

It's just silly to expect yourself to live up to ridiculous expectations every year.

Muse | Bella Swann
Fandom | Twilight
Word Count | 285
Isabella Sawn
072. TEN cryptic (or not so cryptic) notes to people you know.

1. I miss you but I can't be what you want of me.
2. I'm going to miss you so much when it's over.
3. I love you.
4. I hope you can understand someday why I did it.
5. I hope you can forgive me.
6. Please never stop wanting me.
7. There is nothing in this life worth more than love; I'm embracing mine.
8. You were a good friend.
9. He'll take care of you when I'm gone.
10. I think this must be what breaking feels like.

Muse | Bella Swann
Fandom | Twilight
Isabella Sawn
28 December 2007 @ 02:29 pm
064. TEN new years resolutions.

1. Introduce Mom and Edward.
2. Convince Edward to change me.
3. Not let Alice buy me any more gifts.
4. Make friends with Rosalie.
5. Get Esme something amazing.
6. Stop falling down so much.
7. Make peace with jacob.
8. Get Charlie a girlfriend.
9. Thank Phil for taking care of Renee'.
10. Become Edwards wife.

Muse | Bella Swan
Fandom | Twilight
Isabella Sawn
28 December 2007 @ 01:46 pm
Who is the smartest person you know and why?

Edward Cullen. I don't think it's fair to ask me this question though because I know a lot of smart people. Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Emmet, Charlie, Jacob. The Cullen and Hale's definitely have one up on most people though seeing as how all of them have a few decades on the rest of us. Edward likes to remind me often how much smarter he is than everyone else. He doesn't do it in an obvious way either, just the way he speaks and thinks. He's so beautiful and posed and he really shouldn't be pretending to be a high school student. The only stupid thing Edward does is choose to love me. I'm not going to complain about that but I just have never understood how or why he choose me. I cannot even begin to explain how much I love Edward, how I respect him. I just do - there's no real way to quantify love is there? It's chemical and emotional and everyone is different.

Edward is the smartest person I know because he is the kindest. He is the most beautiful. Edward is my love. That is the simple truth.

Muse | Bella Swan
Fandom | Twilight
Word Count | 195
Isabella Sawn
29 November 2007 @ 08:18 pm
What makes your life complicated?

My best friend makes my life complicated. Jacob was there for me when my life was falling apart. I always knew he had feelings for me and I always told him that there was no way my heart could ever have enough room for anyone but Edward. Oh. My Edward. The reason my life is complicated by Jacob is because I plan to become a vampire. It took me too long to convince Edward for me to turn back on it now. When that happens there is turning back. Jacob is a werewolf. Werewolves and Vampires do not get along. In fact they are sworn enemies. There's a fine line that has yet to be crossed in Forks. I'm afraid that something is going to happen and I'm going to loose Jacob. It would hurt so much. He doesn't believe in me anymore because of my choice to be with Edward. Jacob just doesn't understand. He's my best friend but Edward is my everything.

Jacob Black is the best friend a girl could have but his judgment and bias won't allow him to be happy for me. Because I'm happy. Edward makes me happy and I wish that Jacob could just accept that and me. No matter what choices I make in life or death I want my friend to support me. I can understand why it's so hard for him but it's hard for me too.

I'm going to miss him when he stops talking to me.

Muse: Bella Swan
Fandom: Twilight
Word Count: 248
Isabella Sawn
05 October 2007 @ 03:21 am
She never quite understood the old phrase an eye for an eye. When she was young Bella would have never even considered it a literal possibility. Now though? After everything she's seen and all the enemies she's made just because of who she is. Or rather who she's with and how she smells

First with the normal people in the small town of Forks, Washington, she was practically legendary before she got there. They loved her for being new and hated her for being different. She wasn't one of the shiny people who smiled all time but she had certainly tried, for Charlie. She had to let Renee' move on from using Bella as a crutch for the rest of her life.

And then she met HIM and everything changed. To the outside world she's sure it looks like he must be taking on some strange turn on a Ashton Kuchter show where it was Beauty and Geek roll reversal. The point was, Edward, was a practicality a Greek god. He's the most beautiful creature She's ever seen in her entire life; inside and out. She could never really see what he saw when he looked at little old Bella, she's just plain, nothing special. Isabella Swan, daughter of the Sheriff, desperately in love with a vampire.

And now she's reigned destruction on his family too many time than she can even bare it and not only that, the La Push Werewolves had been put in so much danger as it was.

Mate for Mate. Victoria's for Edwards. Victoria's mate, James was the tracker who chased me all the way to Florida just too see how delectable a meal I could be. Edward, Alice and the others saved me but there is still a scar on my hand that's always a little cooler than the rest of my skin. Edward killed James and so in the last year (a year that begins to get blurry around the edges because of Edward's absence) Victoria has been trying to find the best way in, making vampires to help her clear a path through my protectors. To kill Bella.

Bella, apparently, smells amazing to most vampires. If she didn't have Edward's protection half the time probably be dead by now. Edward always says that it's Bella's fault, but trouble tends to finds her as much it can

Oh Jacob. That's another story.

Victoria is gone and so is the army of young one's she created to come after me. No one was killed - thank whoever - but Jacob was hurt. She hated it when Jacob hurt, his pain was her pain. That's just another complicated story.

It's coming soon. The time to say goodbye to her old life.

The life of a Vampire, an eternity with Edward. It's not so scary when she thinks about it that way.

Muse | Bella Swan
Fandom | Twilight Series
Word Count | 475
Current Mood: blahblah
Isabella Sawn
When you say worst enemy what does that entail? Before life got interesting in Forks I would have said Lauren and I locked in a room would have resulted with silence, then back talking and then a good punch to her nose. Maybe she’d like that she’s on the (them) train anyway. I mean I have enemies. I’m not sure how I’d managed to go from simple small town girl giving up life in Arizona for raining Forks and would end me up with one archenemy (it sounds so comic geekish) let along a coven of evil scary Vampires called the Volturi, who are insisting I get changed as soon as possible. I was just so relieved that the last of James’ coven was gone.

But I was locked into a room with my “archenemy” or maybe he was just closer to Edwards and using me as the way to hit at him harder.

See I don’t know why but I seem to smell irresistible to vampires. Like drugs and I’m really not inflating my ego or anything. It doesn’t make any sense to me. Nothing makes sense to me anymore. Edward loving me and my best friend being in a blood war with my mate, it's all so strange. Only strange is so normal now.

Edward is my soul mate in a way that I could never put into words. Like all vampires he’s incredibly gorgeous and amazing at everything that he does. He’s smarter (god knows how many times he's actually graduated from highschool) than me and I’m just a wreck but he seems to love me anyway.

Or wait. Isn't your worst enemy really suppose to be yourself? So when you opened the door It would just be big, picking through my life in order to find away not to hurt my family and friends and still do what I know I need to. I can’t live my life without Edward, we tried that and I became a ghost of myself. Empty.

Rosalie’s words, too, echo in my head a lot lately. How she hasn’t had a choice. She said she’s killed but she’s never drank blood. She’d never tasted Human blood. Surely with Edward and Alice and even all of them with me, I’ll be fine. They all know what it’s like.

I just hate leaving. I hate it all. I keep thinking back to Jacob and how he just really wanted me to change my mind. I couldn’t. I wanted Edward, nothing else.

Muse | Isabella Swan
Fandom | Twilight
Word Count | 390
Isabella Sawn
04 October 2007 @ 03:53 pm
My name is Isabella Swan and I live in the tiny rainy town of Forks, Washington. Technically I guess I’ve lived here half my life but it wasn’t for any significant amount of time after my parents got divorced and I was just shuffled back and forth to visit Charlie. It’s really had to remember life before I moved back to Forks, at the time I hated it even though it was my idea. I hated the rain and leaving my mother behind to handle her own craziness – truthfully I was wary if Phil could handle her. But it had to be done.

And truly, despite my reservations and the sheer hopelessness of my life in those first few months, I can never regret my decision to move.

First of all I got to know my dad a lot better. Charlie Swan is the Sheriff of this tiny town and everyone knows him, which of course means everyone knew me. They even knew to call me Bella. Without having to be told that Isabelle is not a name I generally answer to. I’d always seen Charlie in passing, he was a stop on a summer of cold and dreary weather and now he’s just Charlie and I love him. My Dad.

Secondly, I met HIM. Edward Cullen. I have to even pause for a moment after thinking or typing his name. Edward is unequivocally the love of my life. I would die for him (and will soon) and there just aren’t words to describe what I feel for him. Edward is also a vampire. That’s where things get complicated I guess.

I’m just going to gloss over the dangerous stuff and not talk about how trouble seems to follow me around. I’ll just move on.

Jacob Black, Jacob his my best friend in the whole world. And a werewolf. The company I keep seems to be getting more peculiar doesn’t it? It’s really a long story. Even longer still if I told everything.

Alice Cullen is probably my other best friend, Edward’s sister – though through no blood relation … assuming how you look at that I guess. Even if she has a tendency to go overboard and crazy with arrangements and plans. I don’t mind so much. She’s like my sister. She is my sister.

I’m marrying Edward. I’m choosing to skip over my marital issues as well because Edward and I have been working on this concept called compromise. I’m going to be his, forever. And yes. I do mean forever.

Muse | Isabella Swan
Fandom | Twilight Series
Word Count | 400